Amazed!

"Both faith and fear may sail into your harbor...but allow only faith to drop anchor."

Yesterday my copy of Stoney Creek Cross Stitch Collection Magazine arrived with a picture of a lighthouse keeper looking out his window at a lighthouse with this quote. Lighthouses have a special meaning in my life. It's too long a story to write here, but suffice it to say that I've always been comforted by them and they are a symbol to me of God's guidance and direction. So when I got this magazine with this quote, I was especially comforted and encouraged to "keep the faith" and release the fear.

I've had a few things happen in the past few days that have erased the "stuff" that happened over the weekend. Kathy, a fellow St. Michaels buddy, stopped by the store I work in with some pillows. I've been hearing about pillows that have been made for mastectomy patients and their uses. Kathy made special heart pillows and one long pillow made especially for me because I'm having a bi-lateral mastectomy. She went out of her way to find special patterns, then told me she wanted to do something for me because she didn't know any other way to "comfort" me. I have to tell you, just typing this I have tears in my eyes for the love she has shown to me. I think her words and actions hold more comfort than her pillows ever will (though I know they'll make me comfortable too), but you know what I mean.

I haven't told many people who are not friends that I have cancer until recently. I guess I didn't know how they would react. DH told our neighbors this week, and the first thing they did was offer to bring a meal the first night home from the hospital and offered to pray for us. That surprised me. We've done neighborly things before, shoveled each others sidewalks and mowed lawns, but this is so different. I'm really touched by their kindness.

I can feel people's prayers. I have no other explanation for the calmness I feel, especially after this weekend. I really do mean it when I say, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, I FEEL them and KNOW they are helping. So many people have offered to bring meals, help after the surgery in so many ways, gifts of pillows and other things, and have been praying for me and my family. I can't thank you enough! It's not JUST the meals and prayers (though they are greatly appreciated), it's the thought that you would go out of your way to do something so kind for us. DH and I have lived far away from family for all of our married lives, and we've always been self-sufficient. We've never relied on family in any way for anything, but then we've never REALLY needed anything. We've tried to help them (and others) whenever we could but it's been an eye-opening experience to be on the receiving end, and maybe that was God's plan. In any case, this whole experience has changed me and made me realize the special gift God has given us in friendship, and being able to help others. It makes me WANT to do things for other people more than before and put more thought behind my actions. It's true that doing things for others brings blessing on ourselves and allowing others to do things for us ALLOWS them to have blessings too. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I'm learning life lessons all along this journey, and I'm thanking God for the privilege.

Sorry for the sappy post. I'm writing more so I'll remember these things, as they are important lessons to me. And it's my way of saying thank you for the kindness you've shown me too.

*Hugs*