Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Another sleepless night...

I got the call tonight...though I already knew what the answer would be. I was hoping the Dr was wrong yesterday.

He told me before I left the room that he suspected it was cancer and wanted to warn me then so that it wouldn't be too much of a shock today. Not just the one lump, but both. So there it is. *Sigh* I'm uncertain what to do at this point, I was given a phone number to "start the process" whatever that might be. I'll call MY Doctor later today and see what she has to say. Thanks for all the prayers...and even though the outcome wasn't what any of us hoped, I'm a firm believer that everything has a purpose. There is a reason for this and something good will come of it, we only have to wait, believe and see what happens. I have to say, I'm really not surprised. My body has been trying to tell me something for a very long time it just took a long time to find the answer. So don't worry about me, one way or another, everything will turn out as the Lord wills and I'm ok with that. The only thing I worry about is telling my Mom. She will need the prayers now.

I'm thinking of the irony of this message, it seems like such a downer. And yet a week or so ago someone gave me a sunshine award. LOL I wonder if there is a moonshine award? I might just have to make one up! I'm not a drinking person (though lately I've had quite a few for various reasons) but I sure could use something tonight. What a thought?!?! Forgive me Lord! LOL

I may be MIA for a while until I wrap my brain around it all. In the meanwhile, here are some *HUGS* to tide you over.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

While we wait...

Hi Gang!

I finally found some time to share a few photos. First though, I want to thank those who have been leaving comments and praying for me. The last few weeks have been nerve wracking and I know those prayers have been carrying me through. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Here is a shot of the Bachelorette party. We had a lot of fun, they were a great bunch of ladies to spend the evening with. We went to Medieval Times for dinner and a joust. Our knight turned out to be the bad guy, but he sure was great to look at, so much charisma you had to cheer no matter what! We hit a few bars, then a midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland. It sounds a bit tame, but all in all it was a fun evening.

So, here goes...*huge sigh* It is with GREAT reluctance that I share these photos. LOL I really did love the dress, but I know I didn't look great in it. I have to say, though, the fabric was so nice and it did fit really well (no more wardrobe malfunctions for me! LOL) that I didn't feel self conscious UNTIL I saw the pictures, but by then the event was all over but the shouting. Christina was a beautiful bride and the wedding was perfect, everyone had a great time and had fun together and that is all that mattered.

So, here is the entire bridal party at the altar. I'm the middle bridesmaid....*shiver* LOL

I danced with Christina's Mom to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" You have to know Christina's Mom, shes a hoot and makes everything so much fun!

I got a shot of the other framer's that have worked at Frames Galore with Christina and me. At one point the lights at the store would have problems lighting up, and all that would light was Frames we've affectionately become known as the Frames Gals. I must say, it wasn't my best mugshot...I had had a few Southern Comfort and ginger ales at this point and I'm afraid it's written all over my face. LOL (I needed some liquid courage to face people with all that skin hanging out! LOL)

Here's a shot of the Camelot Sampler all framed and ready to hang. Christina loved it and I got a very sweet message on my cell phone the following day from John, who said he couldn't stop looking at it and it would always be hung in pride of place wherever they lived. I love making things for people who appreciate the hard work and love and attention I put in my stitching. It was a joy to stitch this for them. Best Wishes, Christina and John, for a long and happy life together!

With all the busy-ness and stress we've been having to deal with for such a long time now, DH and I decided to take a little trip out of town last weekend. DS was attending a Christian Youth Conference (IMPACT) in Ocean City (this is the third year he has attended the conference and DH and I have never been there) so, we decided to stay in a Bed and Breakfast there. Josephine and Brian run the Atlantic House just one block from the boardwalk. If you ever plan to visit, I would recommend their little B&B.

They were the perfect hosts, I felt like fast friends when we left there. Not only were the accommodations welcoming and comfortable, but the breakfasts were out of this world! I even came away with a few new recipes. Each night they had a snack for us (homemade chocolate chip cookies one night...a weakness of mine) and one night treated us to one of Brian's Sangria concoctions. Mmmmmmmmm yummy!! It was a bit windy and chilly (so couldn't take advantage of the hot tub) but it was worth the little vacation away from it all. We had the boardwalk pretty much to ourselves, we visited a few of the MUST SEES along the way, and I gained a few pounds because we HAD to try Fischers carmel corn, the Dough Roller pizza, Thrashers boardwalk fries, Wockenfuss chocolates and of course the fudge from the Candy Kitchen. Not to mention the Atlantic house breakfasts. It was just what DH and I needed!

I love the ocean. I don't swim or even like to walk on the beach, but I love to watch the waves and listen to the waves crashing on the shore. It soothes my soul in ways I can't express in words. Thank you my dear sweet DH for planning this little get-away. I had the perfect time! I couldn't help trying to get this shot of the big waves and the moon in the sky at the same time. I thought it was so pretty.

I read somewhere about a preacher who comes to the beach and makes sand sculptures there. This is one that was standing along the shore that he created. What an amazing talent!

So, guess that's all the news that's fit to print. The procedure went well yesterday and other than a little soreness I'm doing great! They told me I would have answers in 48 hours, but that he would probably be calling me late Tuesday. I'm not sure when I'll post next because I'm sure I'll be busy. I've taken a few days off work and I know that I'll be busy when I do get back to the shop. Thanks again for reading and for your prayers. They mean the world to me! *Hugs*

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Murphy's Law

Did I ever mention that my maiden name was Murphy? And that when they wrote Murphy's Law they were writing about me? I know that sounds very vain and egocentric, but I honestly believe it's true! LOL

For instance... I mentioned over a week ago that they wanted to do biopsies within a week. Weeeelllll.... that didn't happen. Why, you ask? Because for a Murphy, nothing is easy! LOL My primary care physician (PCP) (whom I respect and would do ANYTHING she told me to do) decided she wanted me to see a different agency to have the biopsies performed. So for two days I did nothing but run paperwork around. I had to wait 48 hours to get all the film and reports from the one agency, then drive to another agency over an hour away only to find that I had the wrong referral. When I tried to call my PCP, my cell phone died. I had to drive all the way back and then they told me they couldn't fill out the referral like the other agency wanted. I finally got it sorted out and had to wait 4 days for them to call back with an appointment. When they did, they were scheduling me for something completely opposite that the other agency wanted to perform. Back to my PCP for assistance, but again I had to wait 5 days this time for them to fax reports and then follow-up on their faxes. I finally threw my hands in the air and decided to just wait until my appointment and sort it all out then. The appointment for the biopsies is now March 29th. I'll be having three done, two in one "sister" and one in the other. Wish me luck (although prayers would be better I'm thinking!).

In the meanwhile, other issues are happening. I haven't been sleeping which in turn leads to some very dizzy days. Now when you work in a frame shop, you work with machines with very sharp fixtures. A mat cutter, an electric saw to cut moulding, glass cutters not to mention handling glass. Dizziness and these "dangers" are NOT a good combination. So far I haven't hurt myself, but it's always a concern. With a co-worker on her honeymoon and another dealing with family issues, I'm working over-time. Not sleeping, working overtime, and dizziness does not a happy framer make... LOL!! I'm beginning to wish I had been adopted... There goes the Murphy curse again.

The only good thing that has happened, is that some dear folk have nominated my blog for two different awards. I'm deeply honored and touched that I've been chosen. There are some details to take care of in order to receive these awards and I will take care of them as soon as I get a chance.

I have some pictures to post as soon as I get a chance. I finished framing the Camelot Sampler for my Co-Worker's wedding (they absolutely loved it by the way!) and have pictures to share when I get a chance. I'll show a picture of my dress (though I'm cringing as I type this because let's just say, the style of the dress was a little revealing for me but I know some of you have asked to see it) I just have to find my camera which is MIA at the time of this posting.

So, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth just yet, I haven't been stitching (with the wedding and working overtime, and the dizziness I just haven't had the heart to pick up a needle), I haven't been posting in any of the groups I'm in, and posting on the blog seemed pointless since I didn't have anything new to report or any pictures to post. So....I guess I just wanted to say I'm still alive and kicking in case you were wondering. I'll be back with a vengeance as soon as I get my health sorted out. Till then, take care and super tight *Hugs* to all of you.

Monday, March 8, 2010

You have to laugh...

It must be the lack of sleep, or just the absurd nature of today, but I'm going to add this post of today's adventure. After all, laughter is the best medicine...

How I HATE getting mammograms! If there was ever a time in my life I wish I weren't so "well endowed" it would be now! (It ranks right up there with the time I stopped taking accordion lessons when I hit puberty!) I swear the machines they use must have been invented by male terrorist interrogators. I think I would rather be water boarded than to go through the experience I had today. Even now - nearly 12 hours later - I am STILL sore! Some of the conversation today when something like this:

Ok, now I want you to drop your left shoulder - lean forward, NO - don't go up on your tip toes! Drop your shoulder - suck your tummy in - hold your "sister" with the other hand, tip you head back, look over my shoulder - OK Now I'm going to just press this down a bit... a little bit more... Oh, you're eyes haven't started watering yet it must not be squished enough...just a wee bit more - BINGO - your eyes are crossed at just the right angle. OK DON'T MOVE (honey, you have one of my sisters in captivity, I couldn't move if my life depended on it!) Now, take a deep breath (HOW??? I can't suck my tummy in and take a deep breath at the same time ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) What seems like 5 minutes later the machine releases and I'm able to drag my poor bruised TaTa off the machine. I let go and it feels like it hangs 3 inches closer to my waistline than it used to! After 3 more such torture sessions I'm led to a waiting room where I sit cradling my now stretched and sensitive "sisters" while I watch a couple argue whether the child she bore is indeed her husband's on the Jerry Springer show at a volume loud enough to be heard two counties away. Lovely!

After 20 minutes I hear my name called again. I drag my feet as I head back to the "torture chamber" trying to recall the recent sins I might have committed that would be causing the type of retribution I must now endure. Whispering pleas of forgiveness I face the machine responsible for the pain I'm experiencing.

"I'm sorry, the Doctor would like some views from a different angle. I know this is going to feel awkward but...I want you to bend at the waist, lean forward, tip your shoulder back, turn your chin sideways, I'm just going to press you flat this way, then twist your nipple that way. Oh Dear! Now that didn't hurt did it? Here we go, I'm going to press a little bit, a little bit more, just a taaaaaad bit more OH MY, did you HEAR that? It sounded like a balloon burst!?!" (She didn't say that last little bit, but it sure felt like that might happen!!)

Again I'm sent to the waiting room where I'm forced to listen to a man share his story of pain and agony during a recent mugging. All I can think is he should be experiencing my "mugging" and see if it compares at all!

Next I'm ushered to a quiet dark room while I'm told to lie down, twist my hips to the right while I tip my shoulder to the left with my arm up over my head. (Who thinks up these positions I ask you????) I'm plastered from chin to navel with COLD slimy goop. A machine roams over every square inch of my chest as well as my underarms while they take a sonogram. It wouldn't feel so bad if the weren't so sore from the recent squishing they just endured! With today's modern technology at airports where they can find weapons of mass destruction underneath clothing in crevices that never see the light of day you would think they could create a more comfortable way of exploring the female mammary glands. And they wonder why women are so reluctant to get mammograms!?!?!

After all that I'm being sent for biopsies...within a week... and the recommendation to have another torture session...I mean 6 months. Heaven help me!

Thank you...

I guess you don't realize how many people read your posts until they leave comments! I'm a bit awed and extremely comforted by all the comments that was left last time. I want to thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers that have been offered in my behalf, and I'm going to ask you to continue, if you wouldn't mind. I firmly believe all the prayers helped sustain me today, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

It's been a weird day all around. The diagnostic tests showed that I will have to have some biopsies and it took me until 7 PM tonight to get SOME of the paperwork together. I'll call tomorrow for an appointment and then will have to gather even more paperwork. After going to the clinic this morning I called a friend who had no idea what is going on (forgive me, I just didn't want to answer all the questions that I knew would come) and offered to take her out to lunch. We shopped, giggled and had lunch, and it was a grand distraction to just "hang" with a friend and feel "normal". After I dropped her off, I began trying to get referrals and other "stuff" together before I was supposed to show up to work. In the end I just called and said I couldn't make it in to work. Just that was another relief. In my mind I'm calling it a mental health day, and I just MAY have to take another one tomorrow LOL!!!

My Doctor is great! The Doctor that performed the "tests" this morning called her right after I left, and my Doctor called me later this afternoon. I wasn't home to take her call, but she had some suggestions and comforting words, she is really wonderful. I'm blessed to have her in my corner.

So, that's the latest, and when I know more I'll post it on the blog. Thanks again for reading, commenting and praying. I feel stronger just knowing I have all of you for support.


Friday, March 5, 2010

Sleepless night...

I guess I should give you fair warning...this is going to be a tough post. It's not my usual...and it's pretty heavy, so stop reading now if you're not in the mood to read some deep philosophical thoughts...LOL (Like I ever REALLY think deep philosophical thoughts) LOL

I debated on whether or not to write this post. But I guess I want to document my feelings on things and I find writing very cathartic. goes...

If you've been a follower for a while you know I've been having some health issues and though I was seeing doctors, I didn't "follow through" on a lot of their "recommendations". I was given referrals and they were in a neat stack (ok maybe not so neat LOL) on my dining room table. They were "tabled" because there was always something "more important" to deal with. I had things to do for DS, DH wanted to attend this or that, I have that wedding coming up, etc. Finally things were really spinning out of control (and I do mean spinning...dizziness and weight loss and exhaustion) so I decided to take all those referrals and make those appointments, it was time to put ME first. So...this was my week of appointments. I've been getting up early, going to bed late, trying to fit appointments in between working and "living" and today everything came to a grinding halt with one phone call. Those dreaded words "We found something and we need you to come back for a diagnostic, we'd rather you didn't wait another week." wow Just like that my world changed. It's like a car accident, when time seems to stand still. And now begins the waiting game. I go back for the diagnostic early Monday morning. I don't know if they'll be able to tell me anything that day or not. Probably not, so another waiting game. And then I'm sure there will be more tests. In my head I'm hearing .... ah there's nothing wrong, they are just being thorough. know, haven't you heard people say, I knew something wasn't quite right? Listen to your body...yada yada yada. So I'm just going to flat out say it... I'm scared. But, I will have to stay strong for those who depend on me, my Mom, my husband, my son and my friends. So tonight I'm not sleeping and I'm going to be wimpy, but tomorrow (or I guess later today) I'll put on my best, "everything's going to be fine" face and get on with the game. If you are the type that Believes, will you please pray for me? Thanks.

In a very strange way, I feel "stronger" so thanks for "listening". Hug your family a little tighter today, because you never know what's right around the corner.