Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm verklempt...

This has been an amazing week....and I just love that word...verklempt! It means choked with emotion. And that's exactly how I feel.

So much has happened this week I really don't know where to start so I'll start with what is making me verklempt. I was supposed to meet Gillie last week on Friday. I had a busy week planned with lots of appointments and a chemo treatment on Thursday. I was going to pick Gillie up at the train station, spend some time stitching and talking and drop her back at the train station. Taxotere (the next chemo drug) is supposed to be less stressful on your body and I thought I would be able to handle meeting her on Friday.

Wednesday rolled around and I had two doctors appointments. One at 10 AM and one at 4 PM. I went for a "fill up" of my expanders and it went great. DH and I headed over to the mall because we had a little shopping to do, then had lunch. A wonderful cheeseburger at Rockin' Robins. YUM!!! About an hour later I started having pain in my back. Hm...DH being the military man that he was says "Let's walk it off" so we walked the mall for 4 hours. It continually got worse.

I had an appointment with my oncologist next. We headed over there and he asked how I was feeling. I told him the truth, that I wasn't feeling well, so he ordered a CT scan for the following Monday to check things out. He drew blood to have it tested and we got back on the road to go home and got stuck in rush hour traffic. FUN...NOT!! I went to bed when I got home but realized I couldn't lie on my back it was just too painful. So I called my oncologist back to ask for pain medication. He said if it hurt that bad I needed to go to the emergency room immediately. So I did. Sitting there waiting to be checked in they were asking those silly questions such as...."Do you feel threatened at home?" and " Do you feel any suicidal thoughts?" to which I replied "If I don't get any pain medication soon I WILL have suicidal thoughts!!!" LOL Finally after a sonogram, some morophine, and a little wait in the waiting room I was told I had a gall bladder attack and would have to have it removed the next day. WHAT??? I'm supposed to have chemo that day and what about Gillie's visit? I was so discouraged. But I had the surgery and 7 days later I'm finally back home.

What about Gillie you're asking? Is she still standing at the train station??? LOL No, my wonderful DH picked her up and brought her to the hospital so we could at least chat while she stitched....BUT!!! She brought something else with her. The ladies at Friendly Stitchers yahoo group made a quilt for me when they found out about my cancer diagnosis...and this is where being verklempt comes in! A few ladies from all over the world made tops and bottoms of biscornus and sent them to Mouse in England. Mouse pieced everything together and made the quilt. She sent it to Gillie, and Gillie made her way all the way from Michigan to Maryland to hand deliver the quilt. I cannot believe the trouble everyone went to to make this quilt for me. Even a mother and daughter (who is 10) each made one. The time, energy, compassion, thoughtfulness, expertise, and care that was taken just overwhelms me. I may not have shown it that day (I was pretty out of it....gotta love morophine) but I was truly touched by their act of compassion. I told Gillie when she laid the quilt over me that I felt like I was being hugged by everyone. What a feeling!! I cannot express in words how I feel and I cannot thank them enough. I feel like I am not in this fight alone, there are so many praying and lending support in so many ways that I cannot fail. So thank you, you amazing women!! I wish I could hug each one!!! So now you know why I'm feeling verklempt...are you feeling that way too? Here are a few pictures so you can see this amazing artwork! (I'm the one with the blue hat on...wouldn't you love one? I told everyone I was making a fashion statement but really, I felt like a huge blue mushroom... it was the only way to cover my chilly bald head! LOL)

I had a lot of visitors over the next few days. I hope those that visited read this part because I have to tell you, if it hadn't been for those visitors I would have gone insane. I'm not a patient patient, I am not one to lie around and wait and wait. I was so thankful to have distractions they will never know how much I appreciated each visit. And how sweet of them all to bring something.

Gail, a fellow sister in this struggle brought truffles (too bad I still can't eat them yet, but give me a few more days!)

Marie (who knows how much I LOVE chocolate) and her husband brought these and flowers (which I cannot seem to find on my camera...weird because I took pictures)

Sonya who took time even though she had a family emergency...

Alice who brought these hand made thank you cards after she heard about the quilt that I received. I wish I had everyone's address so I could send these. Alice is one of the most creative people I think I've ever met, and she's a fellow framer too! Her cards are WONDERFUL! Even her get well card was a "motion" card. You're amazing, Girlfriend!

Teresa who is also a sister walking the same path as myself and she brought these. Now there's a story behind these. She used to give m&ms to her kids when they were sick and had to take medicine. Now it's a running tradition to give them to each other when they are sick. I was touched by that because I feel like family to her. I thought that was sweet that she did that (no pun intended) not to mention they are one of my favorite candies.

When I got home...there was another surprise. Pat, you are going to spoil me!!! She knows how much I love violets and she found these beads with the violets. I LOVE them!!! She sent them to her sister who made this scissor fob. It's beautiful Pat, and it feels so smooth and nice when you hold this in your hand. Along with that was a Sajou bobbin all tucked nicely in a Sajou box. She sent the London card because we've both been to London and just loved it!! I hope to go back one day, for some reason the Queen wasn't home that day and I just know she's dying to have tea with me!! LOL

I hope I didn't bore you too much! The last picture is a surprise from DH. We didn't have time this summer to plant anything in the little round circle in the front yard I jokingly call our garden. He found these mums on sale and surprised me two weekends ago by planting them. I don't know how I got to be so blessed with him, he's been a trooper through this whole thing and I know he's getting so tired of taking care of everything. If you think of it, please say a prayer on his behalf. I couldn't do any of this without him. You're my rock, Honey!

Lastly, I just want to say, I'm amazed at God's perfect timing. When I look back at all that's taken place this past week, I'm just blown away by how perfectly He orchestrates our lives. I had my operation three weeks after my last chemo (my chemo treatments had been two weeks apart but we had scheduled this three week break in between changing medications). My body had enough time to "recover" so that I could have the surgery that I needed. It was ok to miss this treatment because we were in between changing the medications. I will still have to have four more treatments but I'll just move my "finish date" back a few weeks. Gillie was still able to visit which was such a blessing (just seeing her would have been enough but it was icing on the cake to receive the quilt). I was there over a weekend and could have lots of visitors which kept me sane. I am amazed at the wonderful women I've met along the way...ta ta sisters we call each other that God has planted so we can help and encourage one another as we travel. LOL God truly is great. Even though my path has been strewn with some hardships lately, just seeing how His hand is guiding things, I know I'm still being held gently in His hand.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but so much has happened and needed to be shared. Hope you are having a wonderful day (I know I am as the sun is shining, the windows are open, and I'm enjoying being home!) Take care!


Gillie said...

Did you mean to make me cry, lol? Lots of love xxx

Mouse said...

Must be catching gillie I can't see the screen now . I am truly amazed how things work out for the best .... Mike I love those flowers :) I planted some little purple and yellow violas in my hay basket in my front garden .. they kinda of remind me of someone ;) take care love mouse xxxx

sonya said...

Oh, Deb...I am so touched by everyone's care and thoughtfulness. The quilt is just beautiful and when you mentioned how when you wrapped it around it felt like a hug from everyone I couldn't help but cry. I am so thankful for all of your friends and family. We want to make sure you know you are loved! God is faithful to provide! I was thrilled to hear your happy voice this morning!!

Val said...

We are all sooooo pleased the quilt bought you some joy - and we enjoyed making the squares - Val x

Usefularts said...

Deb, I'm happy that you're home again! You get special treatment because you are a very special person to all of your friends. I hope it makes you remember how much we care and how often we're thinking about you! Your quilt is such a treasure and will always be a comforting reminder of the love and support we all send your way.

Carolyn NC said...

What a truly touching post! Your quilt is just beautiful and such a blessing. It's hard to see God's hand in our lives sometimes. Thanks for sharing to remind us that He's with us every step of the way. Hugs and prayers for you.

Abi said...

A 'hug' from Friendly Stitchers was exactly what we were trying to give you, DJ; I'm sooooo pleased that's how you felt! Now we can be with you whenever you need us - just cuddle up into your quilt and we'll be there! x