Friday, December 16, 2011

Just need to write....

I was so looking forward to Christmas this year, I had planned to keep my mind focused on the true meaning of Christmas.  I was hoping to attend some Christmas events, to spend time with people I care about and do special things for them, but it never fails that someone switches the treadmill I'm on up to full speed and before you know it, I'm running full tilt in the wrong direction.  I know I must sound like a wimp, but I worked the past three days and I'm completely wiped out...my brain is on overload.  I am beginning to realize the toll the chemo took on my brain.  If I'm distracted for a moment, I completely forget what I was about to do and I feel I'm useless at work.  There are so many distractions at work at the moment and I end up spending the time there running in circles, trying to remember what I should be doing.  I was so tired last night I tried to watch TV but absolutely nothing soaked in.  And then the phone rang...

My husband's Grandmother passed away yesterday.  It totally came out of the blue.  She was 93.  I feel so badly for my husband.  His family is slowly slipping away and each parting gets more difficult for him.  Please pray for him and his family during this time.  The funeral is next week...and the timing is such that he and my son can travel up there, but I'm torn between feeling needed by my family, and feeling needed at my job.  The problem is the drive over the mountains in PA and we worry about the weather this time of year.  We've been stranded in bad weather before.  We don't want to appear calloused and really when this happens you WANT to be with your family, but....  It's such a dilemma and caused a rather sleepless night last night.  I'm waiting on my husband, ultimately I'll do whatever he feels he would like to do.

I haven't had much time (or desire...sadly) to cross stitch lately, but with the crazy January challenge nearly upon us I am beginning to feel the pangs of "startitis".  I thought I had my list whittled down, but found some SAL's I'd like to partake in...so hopefully I'll find a moment or two to firm up a list and get the needed supplies soon.  Wish me luck...

On a lighter note, I've been enjoying a plant that we bought a while back.  They were selling one Amaryllis bulb with some of the proceeds going to Susan G. Koeman...so of course I couldn't resist.  We chose the pink flower and then in the hustle and bustle we lost track of it.  Two weeks ago, DH finally planted it.  I wish I had taken a picture of it each day.  I swear it has grown an inch a day and today there are two blossoms opened.  If you ever want to have a fun project for a child, plant one of these beauties, you won't be disappointed.  These are the pictures  I took this morning.  I love the color!!  Each blossom is bigger than my hand!



I have today off, and later tonight DS has a date with his youth group for laser tag.  That leaves a free evening for DH and I to have a little date night.  I will probably head back to bed soon for a little more sleep so I can stay awake for whatever he has planned tonight.  I feel better for having written things down, somehow that always seems to clear my mind and help me organize my thoughts.  Thanks for reading, if you made it this far, and for praying for our family.  *Hugs*

7 comments:

Mouse said...

sorry to hear of DH 's news.. never a good time is it .. fingers crossed you can get something sorted out .... love the amaryllis plant and yes they do grow fast each day :) love mouse xxx

Gillie said...

Hugs to Mr M and please be careful whatever you decide to do. xxx

Denise said...

So sorry DJ for your husband, you and your family. As far as how busy you are, I hope you get to slow down soon and enjoy the holiday. Don't forget to take care of yourself!

And This Little Pig said...

Hugs all round DJ.
LiBBiE in Oz

Nicola said...

Sending a big hug for you and DH. xxx

Veronica said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. Do take care! That's a beautiful flower.

Hugs,
Veronica.

Mindi said...

The holidays can really be a time of madness, and it sounds like yours is really going that way. Just remember to take a moment each day to take a deep breath.

I'm sorry about your husbands loss, and hopefully a solution works out that doesn't cause anyone undue stress or guilt.